Dar St. Onge is some sort of secret covert soldier in 19th century South Africa when his colonel summons him for a new assignment. Lying, near death, in a hospital tent is Ducas Sangbourne - a man who looks so much like Dar it’s uncanny. Ducas has been up to no good and the colonel wants Dar to return to England and Sangbourne Manor to ferret out Ducas’ secrets.

Feigning amnesia, Dar weasels his way into Ducas’ life - which includes a high-strung mother, a clueless stepfather, and their swinging lifestyle. Even worse, the country home is full of visiting hedonistic guests and the local constable is harassing them about bloodless animal corpses found near the estate. There is also the half-gypsy Angene - a woman who is determined to become Ducas’ mistress whatever the cost.

Will Dar be able to pull off the masquerade long enough to learn the truth? What sort of nefarious evil is Sangbourne Manor hiding? How long do I have to put up with this plot until I get to the sex?

First things first - this plot is a complete mess. The reason for Dar’s mission isn’t made entirely clear from the beginning. The reader has no clue what prompts the colonel to send Dar on his merry way or even why, until well into the story. By the time I was told what prompted this mission my head hurt too much to care.

Then there’s Angene - exactly who is she? Good question. All this reader could determine about her is that she’s half-gypsy and horny as hell. She desperately wants to become Ducas’ mistress, nothing more. Why? Good question. Why is she so obsessed with him? Good question. How could she make out with Ducas before he left for war, then have hot monkey sex with Dar afterwards and not know he wasn’t Ducas? Good question.

Confused yet? So was I - for the majority of this book.

I’ve long admitted that I adore Devine’s brand of naughtiness. She’s the only writer I know who can churn out a soap opera plot that could rival Melrose Place and steep it in enough sex to make me almost ashamed of myself for enjoying it. However, in The Forever Kiss, I had to slog through a plot that didn’t make much sense, a heroine I did not know in the least, and on top of that - I had to wait over 100 pages to get to the sex. I was truly vexed.

While I count myself as one of Devine’s legions of fans - even I admit that her work is largely hit or miss. The Forever Kiss is readable in portions - mainly when the suspense thread is put on hold and Dar and Angene get down to business. Other than that, I’m afraid it largely didn’t work for me, and I was left even more confused when I read the close of the last chapter. Lord, I hope it doesn’t mean a sequel.

A couple of naughty sex scenes do not a good guilty pleasure read make. With a mysterious heroine, and a completely wacky plot, I’m afraid I can’t even recommend Devine’s latest as a summertime diversion. Coupled with the hot sun at the beach, it would probably just leave readers wandering aimlessly out into the surf.

--Wendy Crutcher